Maybe you should start with watching the You Tube video of The Fray “How to save a life” first. No, seriously – watch that first. Can you save an employee?
What if you have someone who is flat lining?
To what extent or at what point do you say ” I can still fix them?” Can you? They do not need another Dad or Mom or do they? And are you willing to be that? I say no. You cannot save someone else. They have to first be willing to save themselves. However your criterion is the job. Are you saying if I can save them I can save the job, or if I can save the job I can save them or is that it or not? Am I remotely close or just lost in a song by The Fray?
Guys (and I use that androgynously since I am from the Midwest), sometimes we lose people. They are not in the zone, they do not get it, and they do not do “the thing” exactly? Is that the issue? Maybe we do not get what they need. They want something and we try to provide “the thing” that gets them excited about working for us. Is it the compensation? That is the big one, right? And yet some research says “no”. Is it the feeling of belonging? Much, much closer. But they still do not connect. Is it stimulation or collaboration or clarity? Yes, yes and yes. But still they do not check in or do or engage in what it is you want them to do. You may not be able to save them. The issue is too big, the addiction is too addictive. They cannot be any different than they already are.
So how do you face the reality? Look at the job objectively. Look at what needs to happen. Everything else is just a thing – it is just an aspect of getting the job done (unless it is not anything necessary to get the job done). I know people who can work on all “four cylinders” and have it done in an hour while others need feedback and it takes three days. Who is better? Depends. Some just need some space. Others need to be part of a collective. That is not the issue. Not the job. The issue is the issue. Are they bringing that into the job?
Let’s say I have a team of five and one has a drug issue. At what point does it matter? Be very, very careful. It matters when the job does not get done and the customer is not satisfied or is impacted in any way by the behavior. And the distance between when that happens and when it does not is not my problem. “You are being so insensitive!” NO, I choose not to be an employee’s surrogate father (or mother) unless that is something we both agree upon outside of the workplace. “But if I fix them, I fix the job.” Think about that for just a moment. Really?
Sometimes someone just needs a friend. Or rather they need a leader who put things in perspective. Spell it out and they respond “Yeah, OK, yeah that – I’m good” and they get it, move on and change immediately. Sometimes, people need the fear of God and say ”Whoa, you are serious about that?” And sometimes, they are just not in it or even remotely OK with changing anything. Which one do you engage? Which one do you say “Let’s work here?” Which one do you say, “As much as I love the human existence and want to help everyone on the planet to live in a positive experience, when do I say I just can’t help you?” Is that harsh? Is that mean? Is that real? My belief structure tells me everyone has worth and that worth has been designed as means to provide something to make themselves and others better. And sometimes they just do not want it or anything you have to say to amplify that worth. How do you manage that? You manage the job not the attitude!! Is the job getting done or not? That is the question and the solution.
If they don’t care about what is happening in their own life, do you really have a role in that? Watch out, here it comes…do you care? You can or perhaps it should only matter as it applies to your managerial reality. Apart from that, I think not. Does this make me, well, someone who just does not care? In a way. Sorry, it depends. I am a pragmatist. I control or choose to control only those things that I can control. Apart from that, Skippy chooses his own destiny.
Two things. I care how managers manage…especially when they can have a real impact. And I am a crier. Huh? Yep. I cry at commercials. I cry at movies. I cry when I watch The Fray’s video. This is a challenge for me. Cuz I care and you choose.