In 2011, I published a blog about an aspect of perfectionism. I was looking at what a manager is looking at in an employee and how they might distinguish what they are really looking for in a team member. But what about in ourselves? Are we striving for perfection in ourselves in some way that affects our ability to manage and lead others? And is it reasonable to target and perhaps harder to achieve? Yes and yes.
First off and most importantly, I am not perfect. I may seek it in select things in my life. I will not get there. So who am I to suggest best practices in this subject? Well I am part of the human race, so I may have at least one thing to share. Am I suggesting that if you acknowledge you are not perfect, you should fold up shop and say, “OK, nothing perfect to see here, I am not worthy, look away and be fruitful somewhere else”? Uh, no. No one is perfect. So what is the message? This is not about finding perfection in ourselves. It is about embracing our imperfections and in turn being OK with what we can still give others in our management and leadership skills.
I am in memory of many days that I, as my wife calls it, “biffed it big time”. In other words, my choice was wrong and the end result was not what I had hoped it would be, and for whatever reason it sucked. I did have best intentions and that is worth tagging. No one wakes up wanting to fail. No one wakes up saying “what can I do to suck incredibly well today?” We are all wired to do something good and significant each and every day. Each day is a new opportunity and we cannot escape that reality. But we want to be perfect, right? That expectation gets in the way. That can be our tripping point.
Context moment. You have a team of five and you arrive in the store with the very best of intentions. They really made your coffee well that morning. You show up and the store is not to expectations. The team is in great spirits. It is a slow morning and as you review daily results, you note that the store did not hit its targets. No one hit their target. This is the end of the month and that means you do not hit your bonus. By the way, you did not hit your target. Everyone is looking at you, because they know you are a perfectionist about all things. What do you manage and lead at that moment?
Think carefully about your next thoughts and statements. The first thing to consider is what have you put out there as an expectation for yourself and for your team? What if you fall short? How have you set up the response to this? I have failed and I bet you have as well. What is your criteria for not being perfect? And if you manage a team, what do they know about you and your perception of not being perfect. I actually feared a manager when we did not hit the “target”. How will your team react when they do not hit the “target”?
Let’s be real. If no one is perfect, why do we strive so hard to be something we can never be? What is driving our expectation? What is defining our…what…goal, self-worth, importance? Why? If we are driven to be perfect, does that impact those around us? Does it affect their behavior? And does it affect it in a way that sets them up for failure? Who wakes up wanting to fail? No one. So can our avarice for something impact how our team looks at what they do? Can our greed for something unattainable influence how Skippy, Todd and Mary do their job? Yes.
The “aha” needs to be how we look at our job and our ability to get it done. I am not a perfect manager. I am not a perfect leader. And I am still very capable. I still can get the job done…and through others. It just won’t be perfect. It will be what the day gives me with the desire to help my team be successful, drive the business and ensure my customer has a good experience. Not perfect, just the best I can do given the context of the situation.
I believe the concept of perfection starts with you. How do you perceive perfection…your own and the job? You influence how others look at perfection. I have recently realized that with my own daughter. It was both a clarity moment and a sad moment. My perception of perfection and perhaps the hypocrisy of how I shared this perfection showed me how I modeled behavior. It gave me pause and let me see how my imperfection influenced her choices. How many times have what we said and did influenced our team? Where does perfection really live? For sure, we strive for perfection in one thing or another. So conceptually, it is a goal. To what extent are we willing to go to achieve something that is unattainable…not fully…ever? Should we than accept mediocrity? Never. We must find our balance in performance. There will always be acceptable and unacceptable. Just not perfect.
Cheers