Sometimes we just want to be noticed. I get it. I was a manager and I thought I had the best approach and answer (to most if not everything I faced) and I may have even smelled better than most. Sorry. That was odd. My point being, we want validation. Some more than others. Some desperately. They strive to hear that they do ”IT” right. I am still trying to figure out the “IT” part. I get it…I just don’t get “IT”. Maybe it is that certain something that a manager (or maybe all of us) looks for that makes them cooler or better or whatever. What is the magical “IT”?
How about this? Where does this come from? This need. Some old sayings, “you are what you read” or “you are who you associate with.” A bible verse in Matthew says. “Where your treasure is, there also is your heart” (Matt 6:21). This suggests we do certain things in our lives based on who we are and in this case, what we seek to satisfy this personal need. Why do we seek this type of acknowledgement? What is our source? I believe two perspectives come into play, ego and recognition.
First, let’s look at some context. You are a manager of five and you hit your numbers, your target for the month. Everyone scores big and the store is above average…you hear nothing from anyone. How do you react? I think a very common reaction is to contact a peer network. And it can fly in two different directions. One might be competitively jabbing a buddy about how awesome you are as a means to vocalize “I rock”. Two, you call a buddy and ask them about their month presumably to show solidarity while secretly you crave some attention.
EGO. Latin and Greek for “I” or “self”. It’s about me. When we become manager, we become accountable. Our managerial destiny is tied the efforts of others. It is easy to see why we get a little “me-ish” about what we do, how we do it and ultimately how we are measured. We are also sometimes asked to lead others apart from our own needs. We manage the job and lead people. And this can become a challenge. Because one mindset can obscure the other. WIIFM (what’s in it for me) can outpace WIIFU (what’s in it for us).
RECOGNITION. As employees, we crave validation for our efforts. We want to know we are appreciated. And yet, we typically hear what we need to improve. This is another challenge for managers. Our bosses are quick to help us improve, beyond letting us know what we do well. So is it any surprise we do the same with our team? No, because the intellectual answer suggests there is improvement possible in all things and we need to embrace that. It is quite another when it is best just to isolate what is being done successfully as a means to stimulate what needs to improve.
How do we apply this? This needs to go in two separate directions.
First, get to know what a team member needs. Find out what makes them tick and what they need from you as a manager and leader. What do they need more of and what do they need less of? You need to do the same with your boss. Let them know the same type of information so that their interaction speaks to your needs. Then you can do the same with your team.
Second, flat out, we need to be better at giving praise and recognition. If all we hear, over and over again is what we are doing wrong…we do what? We tune out. What if there was a balance of recognition and correction? Or what if at a base minimum, in the correction there was at least a degree of recognition? I will always stress people need to know they matter, period. You pick the context.
Ego and recognition are threads from the same tapestry. You cannot have the one thread without crossing it over the other. To better understand what drives one’s ego is to better understand how recognition can influence and stimulate a person’s decision making. And if that recognition satisfies their ego needs, what is possible?
Our discussion today circled around the context of a store hitting their target. All is good. Ego and recognition from that perspective. What about if they sucked? Anything change? Next post…
Cheers