Managers and leaders may say they are interested in knowing their team’s motivation or interests, but sometimes do not deliver any behavior that supports that knowledge. In other words, they say they care, but really don’t.
Disingenuous \ˌdis-in-ˈjen-yə-wəs, -yü-əs-\ : not truly honest or sincere : giving the false appearance of being honest or sincere (Merriam-Webster Dictionary Online)
I don’t think I am the only one who had a manager who not only said one thing and did the opposite. Maybe they feigned interest and then forgot it all as if it was merely a matter-of-fact moment. If you are that manager, this is not a “throw you under the bus” moment. I would simply ask, why? What is keeping you from applying the very support you solicited from your team member? Maybe because you can…your power allows for or influences this action. Another possibility is that it may be a side effect of not having substantial clarity and therefore self-interest becomes a default mechanism. Maybe because it was an obligation or maybe you just wanted to get the team member off your back. Whatever the reason, it happens. Why?
What needs to happen if a manager was or is disingenuous, realized it (along with everyone else) and now knows their behavior needs to change? Can a manager (and leader) re-build trust? I say yes. Two caveats. One, it will take a long time and two, it will not be exactly the same. If this is acceptable, consider the following:
- Be consistent
- Communicate openly
- Model integrity
- Demonstrate (share) concern
- Encourage collaboration
- Enable growth
Yes, we all have an ego. We have a certain drive and aspire personal goals. We have our own motivation. So do our people. If we care enough to ask about their perspective, then it must become our responsibility as managers and leaders to embrace and support that perspective. This creates trust and trust absolutely influences and stimulates motivation.