Perspective Two: The Message
Why am I listening to you? What’s the point? How will I do this? When do I know I am doing it right?
If the definition of coaching is giving instruction (very simple definition, by the way), then an inference may be made that the instruction is ideally both trusted and valued. It makes sense to presume that the “coach” has something to share and the one being “coached” is OK with the whole process. Let’s be real, have you ever been coached by someone who really should not be coaching that…thing? And have you ever been coached by someone where your head was visibly nodding “yes” while you’re inside voice was saying “what a bunch of…”?
The previous instalment in this series covered reception. Specifically, zeroing in on how the responsibilities of a sender and receiver impact how coaching and feedback is received. To put it into a context, it was establishing roles prior to a message being sent and received. Now we explore the message, the feedback being shared in the coaching moment.
This perspective is about answering the questions in the moment. Simply…
The Why: A way of answering this question is to clearly establish the value in the message to the receiver…the why am I listening to you or what’s in it for me. This helps to build trust with the one being given instruction and credibility that the message is in the best interest of the receiver.
The What: The answer to this question comes in the stimulus for the message…a look into the reason this message is happening. It could be something done well or not so well. It could be appreciation or non-compliance. It could be a 1.2 or .08 when the target was 1.0. It is the outcome of behavioral choice and effort. It is the overall effect.
The How: This answer is rooted in the cause. The slippery part is that the coach (the sender) is providing the instruction (the message) based on their relative or degree of understanding of the cause (the true what). Huh…true what? Any outcome is the result of a behavioral choice. A 1.2 or .08 is not what you are coaching. That is the flag or indicator. You coach what caused the 1.2 or .08. So any instruction must now be behaviorally focused. In other words, you did “x” which resulted in “y” and now let’s identify how to get to “z”. The how must be the plan to either replicate or correct behavior which is…the true what.
The To What Extent: Answering this is to objectively define the benchmarks that you are doing it (the instruction) or not. This represents the how much and how often with this support to be followed up by this date. Think scorecard for both sender and receiver. Or maybe, a road map of sorts letting you know you are there or not.
Too simple? Why overcomplicate it? I have the privilege and honor to work with clients and friends who ask me to offer my insight into coaching. I have found the issue is not the quantity of coaching or provision of feedback although it can be part of the issue. The major challenge is the quality. To narrow it down further, I am referring to the consistency in the structure in the messaging from manager/leader to rep/follower. When evaluating commonalities and current practices, the challenges may be found in the answers to the questions. One or more are not being satisfactorily answered in either the mind of the sender or the receiver (or both). Four simple questions each with enormous impact in the coaching moment and when lacking, a disconnection to a desired collective outcome. Sometimes sublimely subtle, sometimes glaringly obvious and yet so easy.
Coach: “Hey Phoebe, I know you just got back from the sales webinar this morning, so I wanted to make sure you got some feedback. I observed your last customer interaction and saw how you applied the supportive response technique. I could see how the customer relaxed in the conversation. What was your impression?”
Phoebe: “It felt good and wasn’t so hard. I made the sale.”
Coach: “Yes you did. Good job. I appreciate your effort. Your confidence was evident and you built a lot value for the purchase. I really liked how you approached adding on to the sale. Anything different next time?”
Phoebe: “Maybe try adding on earlier?”
Coach: “Maybe, let the situation dictate your when. Why not try what feels right with your next three customers. I’ll shadow you as I can. Then you and I will connect later and chat about what happened, cool?”
Phoebe: “OK.”
If I know how Phoebe will receive this coachable moment and I have considered my sending intention, and I have now answered the questions within the shared instruction, will it bear fruit? A desired result from a willing and open mindset? Maybe…we’ll see.
Cheers