Perspective One: Reception
If I have something to offer you, coaching or feedback, how do you respond?
Let’s be real, we do care how people see us and how they view our worth in whatever relative context we may find ourselves. We are sensitive about how we are perceived. In the workplace, our abilities, behaviors, tasks and results are being observed, measured and analyzed. When we look at our performance, we can get mildly (and sometimes not so mildly) defensive. We want to be “good” in the eyes of those who manage us…those who lead us. So it should come as no surprise we are coached. We are given instruction. Someone has something to say about our performance. We need that, and frankly, we deserve that. So how do you respond to the feedback?
Come on, it’s just a sales job. You sell stuff and you have targets. You will have a score. That’s business. No big deal. If that makes you frown, get over it. And even if you are probably going to another job in the next six to nine months, again, get over it. For right now, you need to be told how you doing. You will always have someone else coaching you professionally and personally. Sharing or embracing just how well you are doing at “x” is a foregone conclusion.
Feedback must always start with reception; with how you accept or receive it. It has been said no one likes bad information. No one like to get bad news. And we still need to get it. What about the good stuff? I do believe we do not hear enough of what we are doing well. Case and point, do you only hear feedback when you need to improve something? If so, what do you eventually do when you are only given what you are NOT doing well? What would happen if all you heard was good and then something corrective came into the discussion? Would that impact reception? More later…
This perspective is squarely about the starting point and interestingly enough from two realities.
One, there is a receiver. In other words, you are being given feedback and coaching. It doesn’t matter what you are doing or in what position, you will receive another’s feedback. Let’s make this simple, are you honest, open and willing? Honest enough to accept the objective analysis of your performance. Honest enough to ask questions if you think the information may be subjective or inaccurate. Open to someone else’s perspective, their position and their insight. Open enough to listen and not interrupt. And willing. Willing to take the feedback and begin the solution. Willing to accept praise AND correction with equal enthusiasm.
Two, reception also involves a sender. You can’t receive what you have not been given, right? This is more of a question of do you know how the receiver will receive the information? Perhaps the most important considerations are motivation, observation and context. Motivation is about behaviors people choose for themselves. Do you know the motivational triggers of the receiver? Do you know what drives them and how information factors in their decision making system when giving feedback? Observation is really only about if you saw or experienced what you are now coaching. If you didn’t see it, does that impact not only your message but also how the receiver will accept your insight? And context. Context is everything. Think of it as everything that precedes the message. It could be time of day, those involved, any history and all the relative objective data supporting your feedback.
Last thought…balance. How much negative to how much positive is someone receiving? It matters. If feedback and coaching becomes “nagging” or “nit-picking”, you are not thinking balance. It doesn’t mean someone shouldn’t be told something corrective in nature. It only considers how negativity in a message impacts reception. I have been told on numerous occasions that you should try to have a 10 to 1 ratio; 10 positive to every 1 negative. Right or wrong, it suggests the direction that benefits the receiver. What if you are given or giving positive feedback and positive ideas with a corrective intention? Is that really possible? Yep.
Cheers