As manager, ever been in a situation and didn’t know what to do? How about after being asked a question? Managers get all kinds of questions. Good questions, lack of training questions, unnecessary questions and “I don’t know the answer to that, I’ll get back to you” questions. We all face questions and situations where we just don’t know.
Coaching represents one of those situations. Whether managers like it or not, they are tasked to look at an outcome and figure out what to say about it. I believe a big tripping point for managers can be a feeling they must know everything and have answers to all questions regarding what to do in coaching.
Let’s say you have a new manager who has just been through some type of company-run management workshop. They are told they need to coach their team. They are given a model to follow and as many best practices as possible. They may even have role-played a few possibilities. Now they are back with their team.
Could there be any of the following realities in a coaching situation the new manager may not know?
- Analysis; what do I use to get the best point of view?
- Metric; which one, especially if there are many?
- Behavior; if I didn’t observe, where do I start?
- Plan; which one, how long and how much?
- Team Member; do I know them, really?
This can be hard. And you don’t even have to be a new manager to face this uncertainty.
There is a moment. A very important space between not knowing and acting on it. This space is pivotal. This is the conscious (or even sub-conscious) moment before you move. Hollywood has identified this moment – think the angel and devil on your shoulders. It can be the calm before the (fill in the blank).
As you contemplate a decision, why not fill that space with confidence? Fill it with the belief that coaching is important and the faith to see it through no matter what. Use it to risk something uncomfortable, necessary, different, first or best.
What is your trigger? Well, what do people want in life?
- Everyone wants to feel worthwhile, connected and have value. Get to know your team and what makes them tick. If you are uncertain, ask them. Ask them about their perspective regarding the situation or what they can do next time.
- People need and respond to encouragement. As you consider the possibilities and move forward, be the servant leader. Let them know you have their back.
- People buy into a vision (why) before they buy into a plan (how). Always filter action through your core values and the company’s vision. Be specific and objective.
- People may not know what they don’t know. No matter what, you are there to help them to be successful. Be authentic and collaborate on the possibilities.
- People are naturally motivated; they choose their next step. Ask them, stand along side them and engage them in a mutually committed next step.
- Most people will move once they receive equipping and empowerment. And keep it small. Move in chunks if you don’t know an answer or have clarity in action. No matter what, make their success the focus, control what you can and do something.
Let’s be real, any I don’t know situation can be a path to innovation or disaster. Of rebirth or deconstruction. It’s inevitability truly challenges your definition of the difference between believing in something and having faith in it.
There is grace in not knowing what to think or do. As well as vulnerability. As manager, I grew in those moments. I needed those moments. Outcome? Not necessarily a win and probably entailed a risk. And growth. I saw definite growth in uncertainty.