When you hear a song or see an image, do you respond? Do you say or think “yes, cool. That is exactly the way it should work”? How often does that actually happen? I look at management with always hopeful glasses. I do not have all the answers, I know that. I live a life to share insight. I have a business where I share that same and more intense insight at a fee. And I also see people I have worked with excel at management. I see them do it well. To a point, I want to embrace them and say well done. This is what matters (that is a stretch, I know that) in management. How do you know you are at that point?
By acknowledging good or meaningful or above average. Some “thing” that someone did well. Do we need to hug someone for this? No. I am not getting too freaky with you. Here is where I want to go. We always seem to be speaking (in blogs, in programs, in whatever) about the bad stuff we need to work on or what the managers are doing wrong. “Yeah, Skippy, I love you, but you need to be better. Here is what you must do different.” Really? How about what you are doing well now? We as organizations need to be much, much better about celebrating “the thing”, instead of looking right past it in an effort to fix something else. We need to ensure all who work for us have a basis of what to do and if they do it well, can you imagine the impact if they heard “Thank you. You did awesome. Well done.” How many times have you heard that?
Oh, but here are the ones who say, “We pay you to do that. I don’t need to say anything!” Or “The customer expects that, so for me to say anything else is just pointless.” “We have a high standard, and you did what you were supposed to do.” I am just a little bit tired of the organizations that force a standard and then do not celebrate even the little efforts to support it. In fact, sometimes, I want to scream. Celebrate the right thing! Celebrate that your team member is unique and they did what you asked. Celebrate that they may have done it in a way you did not even think of. Celebrate they tried. Celebrate wins.
What will you say tomorrow? Will you be corrective or celebratory? Does that make you go cross-eyed? It should because. I have seen all types of managers and the default mechanism seems to be “When I speak to you, it is about something you did wrong.” Does that seem right to you? Harvard did some type of study that stated the most important or the number one way to recognize someone was a “verbal thank you” and number two was a “written thank you.” Which is better? Which is easier? Seriously?
I cannot say enough about the importance of pat on the back, and yet…let’s be real. I find that while this all makes sense, three things get in the way. One, the speed and scope of the job. There is too much to do and we miss those opportunities to say a quick thanks because there is a line-up of customers. Two, some people are just not designed to deliver it or receive it. “It is just not my style.” “And If I force it, it will not end up well.” To watch a manager not designed to celebrate wins can sometimes resemble a train wreck. And last, to blithely celebrate wins and say thank for mundane things does not accomplish the intended goal. They appear disingenuous. Have you ever received a compliment and it didn’t make sense or even matter? Some people come immediately to my mind.
What to do, what to do.
Be authentic. If you read my posts, have you figured out I say this A LOT? Do not force anything into your management style that isn’t something you can nurture and grow naturally.
Find your battles. Identify when the context dictates either ability or opportunity. Trust your gut. Where can you celebrate more and it make a difference to the team or in the situation?
Know your team. Know what buttons need pushing. Know the why and when they need you to celebrate, coach or influence their motivation (we will be covering that one in a future post).
I have had all types of managers in my life. I have had the stoic, non-descript one (I am whispering, my least favorite). The passionate one that infects you with their enthusiasm. The numbers-oriented one with little to no humor, or when they thought they were being humorous, it was creepy. And the one that taught you, grew you, let you be part of a team and then celebrated you as someone who contributed not just clocked in. You may not be anyone of these. You are not this type of manager. You still have a style. And if you are not growing, you are staying the same. I am looking forward to what you can do tomorrow. I believe you can, do you believe you can? Yep, I bet you can.