Do you have that word or phrase that drives you nuts? You are out with friends and there is that one friend, you know the one that everyone cringes when they show up. What? You don’t know what I am talking about? To take a line from Dane Cook, you probably are that friend. Anyway, that one person is deep in a thought and launches the ubiquitous “irregardless” in their syntax. You see they probably meant regardless or maybe irrespective. The issue is to include ir- and –less, you are adding double negatives to the word. It has been and is still widely used. The thought is its use is tied to a degree of emphasis the speaker is employing to make a point. REGARDLESS, it drives me nuts.
This post today will look at some others. I choose only my favorites. I know there are others. I bet you could even remind of others I will not chat about today. Oh well, with the thousands of words which make up our lexicon of language, I am bound to miss one or two.
One of my favorites is “Tell you the truth” (or the truth is and honesty speaking). Think about that statement within the context of the conversation. Does that mean everything prior was lie and not the honest truth? Is it that at this very moment the other person found you to be worthy of the truth, but prior – not so much. When I find myself saying this, I immediately tag it. Then I say simply “sorry about that.”
You are following me, Right? This is a validator. Many use this unconsciously. They are making a statement here and there and following every line or line of thought with, “right?” As a trainer, we have a need for validation for what we are teaching or sharing with our learners. We want to appear credible in the eyes of the audience, so by adding “right?”, or “wouldn’t you agree?” or even “don’t you think?” My suggestion for you with this one is consider your intention. The audience is inherently looking at you to be the expert. They expect you to not waver and to speak with confidence and determination. Your resolve need not have any validation, right?
Uhh. Could there “uhh” be any other “uhh” sound known to mankind “uhh” that can and does drive people “uhh” to the brink of “uhh” wanting to run screaming into traffic? Maybe it’s just “uhh” me. When you encounter this freak of nature, at what point do you stop listening and begin counting the number of times they utter this monosyllabic nuisance. From what I understand and what I have experienced, the sound can be very unconscious. You see, people think and speak at the same time. There are times when the thinking is at a different rate than the speaking. These lulls between what is being thought and said produce a moment of silence, that some feel needs to be filled with sound. “Uhh” is a product of feeling uncomfortable with silence. This can be fixed. One is to become much more aware of when you are doing it (and maybe why as well). If you want to know just how bad you may be, leave a message on someone’s voice mail and then play it back. You might be surprised.
I recall someone I worked with in a training company say they had heard there was a university course on the origin and use of the word “Like”. No offense intended to the Millenials (a.k.a. Nexters, Gen Y, born 1980-2000); you guys and gals use this like crazy. No wonder it is class. My wife and I were watching The Bachelor (yes, I watched it). One of the gals was speaking about whatever. I say whatever, because, I stopped listening and begin hearing only the number of times she used ”like” in her comments. The pain I feel is not the word but why it is even being used in the first place. It is not necessary. Derivations and distant cousins are totally, actually, basically, sort of (sorta) and kind of (kinda). Like “like”, they are all true words and do have a place in a given sentence. They have a place, except when they all seem to be just filling space without a need or purpose to modify anything. “Yeah, like we totally went out. We actually had like a great time and basically hung out like all night. It was sort of a night to remember and I would kinda like to do it again. Like it was so cool.” Shoot me, please.
While it may seem coincidental this is my last one (for now, more posts on language choices later), “at the end of the day” has recently become the virtual fingernails-on-a-chalkboard-thing for me. The true measure of pain I feel is when it is used at the beginning, middle and end of a conversation or presentation. How could “at the end of the day” work at the beginning of the day? Recently, I was giving one of my management workshops and one of the participants had to delivery their thoughts regarding our topic (strategic planning for a thing). I stopped listening and counted 8 times in a 5 minute delivery. Are you serious?
Remember when you were a young-en? Remember the phrase, “stick and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me.” It works then because children do not know what they do not know. As adults, words can be incredibly painful. Sometimes it is the word choice. Sometimes it is how it is incorrectly used in a sentence or within the context of a situation. Sometimes it just isn’t necessary and is only being used to make someone appear what they are not. To be fair, I am not judge and jury. Someone reading this may have noticed I did not always use correct sentence structure, or my adverb selection was not in the right part of the sentence or the fact I make up words to suit my literary personality. We are all quirky that way. My goal was to share some of my thoughts about word and phrases that bother me. Maybe this awareness can help. More to follow…
Like Cheers