Seriously, grow a pair. Let’s analyze that statement. You could call it chauvinistic or misogynistic. You could say I am being insensitive with those who may not have the ability or resources to act. Maybe they are who they are due to the circumstances that have just been. They want to be in a different place but just are not able. OK, grow a pair. I am contemplating not posting this because it draws conclusions and inferences that I may not want to embrace. It could look “bad”.
So why even say it? I have just taken 80 plus words to express my thoughts. That is my point. Is life so complicated that we cannot even say what we mean and mean what we say for the fear of offending someone else? I have said on more than one occasion, being raised when I was raised, I have heard a lot worse. “Stick and stones may break…yeah whatever.” “But you don’t get it. It is a global community and we have to appreciate everyone’s perspective.” I do get it. I just have decided in my life to place my voice in an honest perspective – one that is authentic to who I am and what I believe.
OK, where do you think I will go next? This is not about politics. This is not about religion. I have only ever dealt professionally with retail management. And while that may disappoint or even offend (really?), I know what I know and do not espouse to know the answer in life about everything. I am pretty good at managing and leading a retail team.
Grow a pair. There I go again. Yep. Managers are facing a diverse employee pool. They have all types of people trying to sell a widget. They are doing stuff based on what they know and what they do not know. They are getting up in the morning and trying to smile at the next customer despite the fact they have no common thread whatsoever with regards to the person they are saying (disingenuously) “hi” to.
Why this rant? Sorry, why this post? Managers sometimes need to manage and address the hard stuff and quit dancing around the obvious. “You were late and it is not acceptable.” “You had the opportunity to upsell that last customer, why did you not?” “But they looked like they could not afford it.” “But did you ask?” “And by the way, you haven’t asked the last 20 customers.” Subplot and what you are actually thinking, “You are killing me!” “But if I say something, they may quit and I will have to take their shift this weekend.” Again grow a pair. Now here is the other thing. The way I have positioned this one might draw a conclusion that this means to slam the employee. Huh? Really, that is what you got? I believe everyone deserves respect AND honesty. I will never chastise and belittle any employee. I believe you can tell someone what is happening, fervently and still have it be constructive. In fact, of the thousands of managers I have taught, I have asked how they want feedback and they almost always say “honest, upfront and with no sugar coating.” So why are we dancing around “sucking-ness”?
Here’s why – because unless it has objective fact behind it, it a subjective opinion and we fear defensiveness or fear what will occur as a result of our honesty. Listen, managing others is hard. It will always be a challenge to say what you mean. I am not blithely saying tell the truth and it will set you free. While I do believe that as an overall philosophy, I know in management, we have to be tactical and think about interpretation and what happens next.
Answer? Tag what is happening. Have the facts and all objectivity necessary to grow others. You want to grow your business, grow your team. You want them to know how they are doing, tell them. Measure performance and let them know what you expect behaviorally and metrically. Set the expectation you will always offer feedback and here’s what it will refer to. If you are starting this for the first time with an existing team, please do this. Have a meeting, say what you want and let them tell you what they would like to hear in the way of feedback. Do this collectively and one-on-one. If you just start this without some type of “here’s what and why”, yeah, they will think you are either insane or that you read some blog somewhere.
Good luck. Seriously, mediocrity is everywhere. Where have our standards gone?
By the way, I have been referring to growing a pair of better glasses to seeing the reality of the situation, what did you think?