I just got back from a Manager’s Fall Summit and the topic was coaching. The company’s objective was to solidify their coaching culture. To clarify the process, establish best practices, define support and target a call to action. The collective vibe was quite impressive. They bought in and you could see it.
Now a week has passed and I wonder where the implementation sits. Where are they collectively in executing the ideal?
As they work to ensure everyone engages, encourages and explains the next phase of understanding, I would have them explore one more element in coaching. To ensure everyone embodies coaching.
Embody verb \im-ˈbä-dē\ ; to represent (something) in a clear and obvious way or to give a body to (a spirit)
Here’s the thing. A clarity of process is key…from tracking outcome to analysis, from what to say and how to say it to the critical follow up. The embodiment piece has less to do with what is said and more to do with what isn’t. It is a visual awareness in coaching. Call it what it is…body language.
Think of it. How do you look when you coach a team member? Are you sitting or standing? Are you aware of your facial cues and gesturing? What about your hands? Or do you think this really doesn’t matter?
Let’s review. These mannerisms embody an indication of interest, presence and confidence:
- Straight back or upright open stance
- Smooth, controlled movement
- Maintaining eye contact
- “Squared up” and facing subject
- Balancing use of notes and tools with speaking
- Relaxed brow and facially at ease, i.e. smiling
While these embody disinterest, distance and lack of confidence:
- Slouching or leaning
- Random or jerky movement (or fidgeting, rocking and nervous pacing)
- Looking past the subject
- Arms crossed at chest or hands put in pockets
- Always looking at notes or reports or having a fixation with them
- Facially blank or agitated; i.e. frowning
I think we can know the why behind coaching, know our team and know what makes coaching-coaching and still not know what we look like when we give instruction, feedback and ideas. Maybe we let the content overshadow how we characterize ourselves in the conversation.
Whether the coaching opportunity is a proverbial “great job” or corrective “let’s get to work”, a confident posture is desired. When engaged as a coach, staying aware of your presence will help you maintain control of the conversation, relationship and what happens next.
Maybe a few considerations in a Coach’s Guidelines for Body Language looks something like this:
- It is a known fact that if you stand or sit upright, you can speak more clearly by utilizing the muscles in your diaphragm and more efficiently generate vocal range.
- Be aware of your natural stance and decide if it is appropriate for the topic.
- Focus on your audience by making and maintaining eye contact, as well as ensuring your posture suggests they are the most important person in the conversation.
- Be conscious of your hands and how you use them when expressing yourself. Talk with your hands in broad, gentle sweeping movements above the waist.
- Notes promote objectivity and create focus. Do not use them as a crutch or replacement for conversation.
- Your face reflects your motives and interest. What impression are you signaling?
Let’s be real…analysis matters. Objectivity matters. Behaviors really matter. The conversation matters. And yes, what you embody when you are not speaking matters.
“Your actions speak so loudly, I can not hear what you are saying.” Ralph Waldo Emerson